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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24361699">Digital Disquiet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/armajesty/pseuds/armajesty'>armajesty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Technological Advancement [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Blood, Car Accidents, Hurt Varian (Disney), Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Running Away, Self-Hatred, Wakes &amp; Funerals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:08:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,407</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24361699</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/armajesty/pseuds/armajesty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Varian sprinted down the road as a flash of lightning streaked across the sky, quickly followed by a crack of thunder. The harsh rain crashed down on him, soaking into his shirt, his jeans, his everything. He knew it couldn't be real.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider &amp; Varian, Quirin &amp; Varian (Disney), Rapunzel &amp; Varian (Disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Technological Advancement [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1758481</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Lost Contact</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! The positive reviews from Digital Lullaby really made me want to write a prequel about Varian’s dad, and so here we are! As always, I want to start by giving a huge shoutout for PeachyPuffin for beta-reading (and staying up until 2 AM with me pretending that we are editing but really doing nothing).</p><p>I also want to give credit to littlemisslol for help with planning this one out. I’d say more, but I’d hate to spoil before we get into this! I hope you guys enjoy! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Varian sprinted down the road as a flash of lightning streaked across the sky, quickly followed by a <em> crack </em> of thunder. The harsh rain crashed down on him, soaking into his shirt, his jeans, his <em> everything </em> . He knew it couldn't be real. <em> This couldn't be real, </em> he thought as his sneakers pounded against the rough surface of the sidewalk, squelching with water.</p><p> </p><p>Varian veered onto the path leading up to the hospital, picking up speed now that his destination was mere metres away. He nearly tripped himself in a rush to push through the doors.</p><p> </p><p>"Dad?!" Varian called, as he made it into the lobby, gazing around the sterile front entrance of the hospital. The secretaries at the front desk seemed confused, and Varian knew he must be an alarming sight. A kid, soaked to the bone in rainwater, trudging mud through their pristine lobby. </p><p> </p><p>Varian gazed around the entrance, scanning its occupants in search of the woman who had called him here. He spotted a pair of striking green eyes from across the room. <em> Rapunzel </em>, his brain supplied as he rushed towards her. Rapunzel, who was sitting with her partner--Eugene-- sprung to her feet and pulled him into a tight hug, unbothered by the fact that he was sopping wet. </p><p> </p><p>"W-where's my dad?" Varian questioned, pulling away from Rapunzel so he could get a good look at her face. She leaned towards him, a look of sorrow crossing over her face.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Rapunzel whispered, reaching up to rest her hand against his cheek. The boy pulled back, shaking his head. He knew what she was implying and he wasn’t ready to accept it.</p><p> </p><p>“No-- No! Where’s my dad?” Varian interrogated, frustration rising within him when Rapunzel didn’t respond. “Where’s my dad?” He repeated, voice wavering. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s gone, Varian,” she stated softly. “The doctors did all that they could for him, but it was too late.” </p><p> </p><p>Varian stood in shock, his eyes widening as he took in the information. He hesitated for a moment before shoving her away from him.</p><p><br/><br/>“ <em> You’re lying!” </em> he cried, shaking his head furiously. “I saw him at home this morning! He was right there! He was completely fine!” Varian continued to back away from her. His father had just been at home. He had been in the kitchen when Varian left. <em> He hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye. </em> Varian was struck by the thought, bringing a hand up to his chest. He clutched his shirt over where his heart resided, shuddering while gasping for breath. <em> He’d never get to make his father proud. </em></p><p> </p><p>He watched with tearful eyes as Eugene approached Rapunzel. The man whispered something to her before the couple turned to face Varian.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get you out of here, kid. You're soaking wet and this is no place to grieve,” Eugene rested a hand upon his shoulder, guiding him back towards the automatic doors. Varian fought the urge to fight past them, to go prove to himself that his father was alive, that they were lying to him. But he knew deep down that they were right, his father was gone, and he didn’t even have the strength to face him.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>The short drive back to his house felt like an eternity. Varian kept his gaze focused on the window, numb to the world as he watched the rain splash against the glass. He felt himself trembling, despite the warm blanket that Eugene had grabbed for him from the trunk.</p><p> </p><p>He knew they were talking about him. He could hear Rapunzel and Eugene’s muffled voices coming from the front-seats, no matter how hard he tried to tune them out. The unspoken question hovered in the air.<em> What next? </em> Varian’s only relatives, Adira and Hector, lived outside the city. His mother was <em> dead </em>. There was no way in hell that he was going to let himself be taken in by the foster system. </p><p> </p><p>Varian turned his eyes to his lap, twiddling with his thumbs as he tried to preoccupy his mind once again. He began to recite random facts to himself in order to keep his brain from straying back to his father. The man who had been left alone at the hospital. The man he never got a chance to say goodbye to.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Tungsten has the highest tensile strength of any natural metal. Despite this, it’s extremely fragile and tends to break on impact. When made into a fine powder it is highly combustible and can ignite spontaneously. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Varian?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Its atomic number is 74. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Varian?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <em> It has a melting point of 6192 degrees Fahrenh-- </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Varian!” His head snapped upwards as he met Eugene’s eyes. Eugene, who was standing in the rain as he grappled for the boy's attention, holding the car door open. Varian quickly pulled himself out of the car, cringing as his soaked clothes brushed against his skin. He grabbed onto the blanket, wrapping it tightly around his shoulders. Eugene closed the car door behind him before walking the boy towards his house.</p><p> </p><p>“We thought it would be good to stop here and pack some of your things before bringing you back to our house,” Rapunzel suggested, standing on the sidewalk. She held a pink umbrella above her head, extending it towards Varian. “Eugene is going to wait for us in the car, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Varian nodded his head as he shakily made his way into his da--<em> his </em> house, taking a good look around the main floor. He turned his gaze to the basement steps on his left. Rapunzel gave a light squeeze on his shoulder to remind him that he wasn’t alone. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be right here for you. Take all the time you need,” she offered a small smile, one he struggled to return before starting in the direction of the stairs. As Varian took his first few steps away from Rapunzel, he felt like a fawn walking for the first time. His brain was still working to get over the initial fact that his dad was dea-- <em> gone </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Varian made his way down the stairs, his shoes thumping harshly against the wooden steps. The basement had always been his domain since his father gave him enough privacy to work undisturbed whenever he was down there. It was split into two sections, a sleeping area and a makeshift chemistry lab to experiment in. When he reached the bottom of the steps he immediately marched his way past the workbenches to reach the other side of the room. Varian gave a soft smile at all of his chemicals strewn across the tables, making note that he would have to come back for them later. </p><p> </p><p>He passed the dividers that separated the room, rushing over to his closet. He pulled out a duffle bag from his wardrobe before selecting various pieces of clothes to pack inside of it. Varian wasn’t very focused on what he was grabbing, throwing in anything that he could wear without a care for their compatibility. He was in too much of a rush to get out of the house. </p><p> </p><p>Varian did a quick once-over when he finished packing, glancing around the room for any other items he might need or want. He squeezed between his bed and the wall, leaning down to the outlet adjacent to his bed frame. The boy unplugged his phone charger from the wall, stuffing it in the bag before tossing the pack over his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>He made his way back towards the stairs, pausing as he passed his main workbench. Varian slowly turned on his heels, focusing on the photo frame that was placed carefully upon his desk. The back of the frame was the side facing him, but he had long since memorized the picture that rested in it. The photo depicted his mother holding him as a child, an energetic bundle swaddled safely in her arms. To her right stood his father. A small smile was etched onto his features, one that was extremely rare to witness but filled with so much warmth. </p><p> </p><p>Varian hoisted his duffle bag onto the desk, reaching out to grab the picture. He turned it over in his hands, using his fingers to trace the smooth finish on the frame. Varian stared at the image for a moment before unzipping the pack and wrapping the photograph in one of his sweaters. He zipped the bag up once more before hauling it towards the stairs, confident that he hadn’t left anything else behind.</p><p> </p><p>The boy ascended the stairs, stopping once he reached the top. Varian turned towards the kitchen as he set the duffle bag down in front of him. He used his foot to slide it along the ground towards Rapunzel.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna grab something to eat here before we leave,” he commented, meeting Rapunzel’s eyes. His face held that same smile from earlier, not genuine or happy enough.</p><p> </p><p>Rapunzel returned the smile, nodding her head. She bent down to pick up the duffle bag, easily lifting it off the ground, as if it weighed nothing. Varian always forgot how strong she was.</p><p> </p><p>“Take your time,” she replied, before turning to make her way back outside. Varian saw through the windows that the rain had let up since they entered the house, a good sign. He turned away from the door, heading down the hallway to reach the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>As Varian entered the room, he passed the mahogany table, becoming closer to the lone counter-tops on the far side of the room. When he approached the island he felt something knock against his foot. He turned his gaze downwards towards the grey-white checkered tiles and froze. On the floor sat Quirin's phone, the face of which was cracked. Varian knelt down beside the device, picking it up and turning it over in his hand. It was then that he noticed the stray pieces of glass spread out behind the island. </p><p> </p><p>He straightened to his full height, maneuvering around the counter. He took in the horrible sight before him: there was an old plate left in pieces on the ground and blood splattered across the floor. The reddish-brown stains trailed towards the phone Varian now held in his hand. He tightened his grip on the device, looking up at the open cupboard. <em> Quirin had been in the kitchen when it happened, </em> Varian concluded, beginning to feel nauseous. He turned over the phone in his hand so the screen was facing upwards. Varian unlocked the device and punched in his father's password before his eyes widened in horror. The phone slipped out of his fingers, landing with a resounding <em> crack </em> on the floor. The contacts application had been open and Varian's number had been selected. <em> His father tried to call him. </em> </p><p> </p><p>The nausea Varian felt moments ago was swept to the side by something bigger, something with more malevolence. He felt rage coursing through his veins, driving him to hit something. To <em> break </em> something. Varian stormed his way over to the kitchen counter. He latched onto the first object in sight--a blender--and hurled it off the counter with a harsh cry. It shattered once it impacted the ground, sending glass flying across the floor. The fury that had been forming within him subsided, but only <em> slightly. </em></p><p> </p><p>He let out another cry of agony as he swept his arms across the counter, this time knocking a mixture of appliances and fresh fruit onto the ground. Varian glared furiously at the empty kitchen top before reaching up to fling open the overhead cupboards. Before he came into contact with the plates inside he felt a hand wrap around his wrist, tugging him back away from the cupboard and into their thin arms. It only took Varian a moment to realize it was Rapunzel. He fought harshly against her before falling lax in her grip, realization washing over him as he let out a harsh sob.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry!" He cried as he buried his face into her jacket, unsure as to who he was apologizing too. He felt himself slowly begin to unravel in her arms, tears spilling down his cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm <em> so </em> sorry!" He repeated, over and over and over again in a desperate attempt to earn her forgiveness. Varian <em> needed </em> someone to forgive him. <em> His father couldn’t after all. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Hey, hey,” Rapunzel cooed, holding him close, her gentle hands tracing circles against his back. “What you’re feeling is perfectly normal,” she assured him, before continuing, “You have nothing to be sorry for.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just-- He had been--,” Varian’s mouth struggled to form the words he was grasping for, his breath coming out in short gasps.</p><p> </p><p>“Varian,” Rapunzel whispered, effectively shutting him up. She brought her hands up to his shoulders, giving him a tight squeeze of comfort. “You don’t owe anyone an apology. Not for this,” she began, offering him a small smile. “We’re going to work through this together, okay? I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Varian, unable to muster a response, gave a slight nod. He glanced around the kitchen, taking in the sight of shattered glass across the floor. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get out of here,” Rapunzel said, sensing his sudden discomfort. She ushered Varian out of the kitchen and down the front hallway. He hunched over and crossed his arms across his chest--closing himself off--as the pair made their way out the door and to the car.</p><p> </p><p>Varian shuffled into the back seat of the car, leaning his head against the window. He watched as Eugene, who had been leaning against the side of the vehicle, and Rapunzel exchanged a few words. Varian closed his eyes as the pair finished speaking, listening to the shuffling noises that accompanied Eugene climbing into the driver’s seat. He was in no mood to make conversation, his energy was sapped as a result of his tantrum.</p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, Eugene seemed to understand this and kept silent. Varian blinked his eyes open to gaze out the window. He watched as Rapunzel made her way around the car to the passenger’s seat, climbing inside before they took off down the road. He watched his house shrink smaller and smaller as they grew further away from it, a bitter feeling settling in his gut. A part of him prayed that he would never have to return to his home, though Varian supposed it wasn’t much of a <em> home </em>without his father there. It was just an empty house, there to accompany his empty heart.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Disconnected</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>:((</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to my homie, PeachyPuffin for beta reading! &lt;3 (as always). Also thanks to all you guys for hanging around and supporting me!</p>
<p>puff: sigh <br/>me: <br/>puff: I can't sigh loud enough so I have to say it</p>
<p>Back at it again with the number riddles. If you can figure out what date Varian’s calls and texts pay homage to then you get a metaphorical cookie! I also updated the tags for this chapter so please make sure to read those over and stay safe!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A stroke had taken his father's life. He found that out two days after the incident, and the result hadn't been pretty. Rapunzel spent that afternoon sweeping up the shattered pieces of her favourite vase from the kitchen floor. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As time went on, Varian’s acts of aggression grew more and more frequent. He had days when, if disturbed within his bedroom, he’d fight tooth and nail to be left alone. He would scream and shout curses at anyone who bothered him, anyone who tried to cheer him up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The funeral took place a week after he broke the vase. Varian was an emotional wreck that day, even more so than before. There were times during the visitation when he wanted to march his way over to his father's casket and scream his throat raw. He wanted to confront him, to question the man as if dying was his choice. He wanted to ask,</span>
  <em>
    <span> Why? Why did they abandon him?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Those feelings of anger contradicted the times when he felt like Rapunzel's delicate china. When he felt as if he might break at any moment and fracture into a million pieces. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was too afraid to speak at his dad’s tribute. Varian knew if he carried himself to the front of the room he would have burst into tears. He felt ashamed. Instead, he opted to silently listen as stories about his father were told by Quirin's friends, Adira and Hector. They banded together to share fun anecdotes from their teen years. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It didn't ease the sorrow Varian felt.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After the internment, he stayed behind to sit next to his father's headstone. Rapunzel and Eugene hesitantly made their way back home after Varian had promised that he would return in time for dinner. Adira and Hector spent an hour waiting with him before they exchanged goodbyes and left him to mourn alone. True to his promise, he returned before dinnertime, but only to lock himself in his room for the rest of the night.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>While staying with Rapunzel and Eugene, he had his own room, albeit small, where he could live free of charge. Like the rest of the house, the walls were a bright cream colour, accented with a chocolate brown trim. The room only had the necessities, as Varian never found the energy to add his own personal flair. In the far left corner, pressed against the walls, was a bed with a royal blue bedspread adorning it, the same colour as the curtains. Next to the bed stood a nightstand where only 2 items lay: a digital alarm clock and a plain lamp. Along the walls opposite to the bed was an average-sized closet with an empty dresser stationed to its left.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian hadn’t disliked his room, per se, but it just wasn’t home. It lacked the subtle traces of his dad. Every single day he spent in the house was only a reminder that he would never see his father again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As time ticked by it became clear that Varian was far from recovery. He would spend days in his room, only leaving for a snack once his body felt ready to tear itself apart. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He spent most of his time scrolling through social media in the comfort of his room. He would bundle up inside a makeshift blanket cocoon, formed in the back of his closet, while mindlessly browsing Instagram. From there Varian watched as his peers' lives’ continued on, himself removed from the equation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Time didn’t stop for his father’s death. It sure as hell wasn’t going to stop for him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Occasionally, Eugene would arrive at his door with a plate of food and a book. If Varian let him, he would read the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tales of Flynn Rider</span>
  </em>
  <span> to him. Though it wasn’t a perfect solution, it did help. Varian could let his mind wander at the adventure-filled pages while he poked at his food.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This cycle continued until one particularly disastrous Saturday afternoon. It was just after lunch when Rapunzel and Eugene entered the room. Rapunzel had made her way closer to the closet before taking a seat in front of the bundled boy. She sat with her legs crossed and her hands folded into her lap.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, Varian,” Rapunzel greeted, a soft smile on her face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced up from his phone to meet Rapunzel’s eyes. His grip tightened on the blanket as he pulled it closer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Eugene and I have been talking,” she began, hesitation in her voice, “and we think it would be good for you to speak to someone. It’s not healthy for you too keep bottling up all these emotions.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian remained silent as he narrowed his eyes. He tore his gaze away from the woman, settling it back on his phone.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Kid, you can’t keep going like this,” Eugene chimed in as he knelt at Rapunzel’s side. “Don’t you want to get back out there and face the world?” he asked, gesturing towards the window. The curtains were drawn, blocking out any light that might dare to enter his room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop!” Varian snapped harshly as he dropped his phone into his lap. He ran a hand over his face, clenching his teeth together. “Please, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he repeated, a hint of desperation in his voice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rapunzel’s face fell at the intensity of his demand. She turned her attention to Eugene.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s just something to think about,” Eugene assured as he reached out to rest a hand on Varian’s knee. The boy flinched back at the contact and shot a glare in his direction. Eugene sighed as he pulled away and climbed to his feet. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll be eating dinner in a few hours. Why don’t we talk about it then?” he suggested, before making his way towards the door. Rapunzel nodded her head at his statement as a smile etched onto her face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll have time to think about it then,” she said as she got to her feet. “You know, your father wouldn’t want you to close yourself off, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian’s hands tightened into fists at the remark.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t know him,” he grumbled as he turned away from her to face the back of his closet. “Just--Just leave me alone.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rapunzel sighed, “Okay,” and she made her way out of the room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian waited for the door to close behind her before he buried his face into his knees. He tugged the blanket cocoon further over his head and let out a strangled cry. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They didn’t know what he needed</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought as he shook his head furiously. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They didn’t know anything!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian hid in the closet for the rest of the day. The last thing he wanted to do was face Rapunzel and Eugene. He knew he would crumble at the sight of them, that he’d be unable to defend against their orders. He didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> help, he didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A month had passed since Rapunzel’s suggestion for him to attend therapy, but he refused to continue the conversation, not wanting to go and talk with some stranger about his life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On one surprising evening, Varian made his way down to the kitchen to find Eugene and Rapunzel sitting at the kitchen table with his Aunt Adira. He hadn’t seen her since the funeral, 5 months ago.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Auntie?” he raised a brow as he made his way towards the table. The group startled at the sound of his voice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Varian!” Rapunzel grinned, clapping her hands together, “we were just talking about you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She rose to her feet and beckoned him to come closer. He hesitantly made his way towards the table and took a seat at Adira’s side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” he questioned, glancing around the group.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we just thou--” Rapunzel’s airy voice was cut off by Adira.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We were discussing having you move in with Hector and me,” she stated coolly. Varian’s eyes widened at the statement and moved to look at Rapunzel. He shook his head, appearing ready to burst at the seams.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rapunzel reached out to rest her hand on the table in front of him and said, “We’re only talking about it. Nothing’s been decided yet.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian rose to his feet and ran a hand through his hair. He wished he had stayed in his room. It was safe there. Nothing could get worse there.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Relax, kiddo,” Eugene said as he offered a reassuring smile from the other side of the table. “We want to do what’s best for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian pointed a hand at him, accusingly. “Y-You just want to get rid of me!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rapunzel was taken aback by the statement. She rose to her feet and tried to approach him, but Varian bolted backwards before she could. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No! You just don’t want me here anymore, right? That’s what this is about. It’s because I’m a burden.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Varian,” Adira’s voice cut in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No! Don’t Varian me,” he snarled as tears welled in his eyes. He directed his gaze towards Rapunzel as he continued. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>promised </span>
  </em>
  <span>that we would work through this together! </span>
  <em>
    <span>You promised.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We just want to help you, Varian!” she said as Varian backed away from the table, trying to put as much distance as he could between them. He turned his eyes towards the front door and noticed how close it was. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He could run now and no one would stop him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If you wanted to help me then you would stop forcing your wishes onto me!” he shot back instead, hesitant to believe Rapunzel’s claim. She was lying. She was a liar.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s </span>
  <b>
    <em>enough</em>
  </b>
  <span>, Varian,” Adira barked with a shake of her head. He could barely tell if she cared or not. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Where had she been these past few months?</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Your friends came to me for help--”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>your help! When will any of you understand that I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>your help,” Varian interjected as his hands tightened into fists, causing his nails to dig into the skin of his palm.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, kiddo. We want to help you through this,” Eugene said as he slowly rose to his feet, a look of sympathy etched onto his features. The expression only sent Varian’s mind spiraling further. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He didn’t need their pity.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then give me my dad back!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Varian cried, inching towards the hallways. “If you wanted to help you’d give him back to me!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Varian, we can’t do that. You know that we can’t,” Rapunzel replied. She took a step closer as she extended a hand towards him. Varian narrowed his eyes as she moved closer. He smacked her hand away before tugging his own back towards him, clutching it to his chest as if he’d been burned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t help me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not if you won’t let us!” Eugene exclaimed as he ran his hands down the length of his face. “How are we supposed to help you if you won’t give us a chance?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>“If you just stopped breathing down my neck then I’d let you help!” Varian responded as he backed out of the kitchen. He felt too crowded with them around him.</span> <span>He needed to get away from them as soon as possible. “If I’m such a burden then I’ll just get out of your hair!” he called as he turned and rushed out the door.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Varian, wait--!” Rapunzel cried before he slammed the door harshly behind him. He couldn’t listen to what she had to say. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He ignored their distant calls for him to come back as he took off down the street. Varian fought back against the tears forming in his eyes, blinking rapidly to stop them from pooling over. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How had he not noticed? Of course he was a burden to them,</span>
  </em>
  <span> his thoughts trailed back to the fight. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Idiot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For someone who hated running so much, Varian seemed to be very dedicated to the sport. He ran away from his problems, from his emotions, and--a new addition to the list--from home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Varian ran down the street, he tightly wrapped his arms around his thin frame. He ignored the incessant vibrating in his pocket while he mulled over what happened. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rapunzel and Eugene must be furious with him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Varian knew if he checked his pockets that he would only feel guilty. He hadn’t intended to make them upset. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He just needed space to breathe.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian suddenly came to a halt. He doubled over, rested his hands on his knees, and gasped for air as his body screamed in protest. He knew he had to take a break. Varian had never understood how people could run long distances without their lungs giving out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He turned his gaze to the ground, eyes tracing the cracks in the sidewalk. They were just as damaged as him, the once strong concrete barely holding itself together.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>He just felt </span><em><span>so</span></em> <em><span>tired</span></em><span>.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His attention was ripped from his thoughts by a loud siren growing closer. Despite being exhausted, he was overwhelmed with curiosity and decided to head towards the sound. His feet objected, but he picked up speed as flashing neon blue and red lights came into view. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Varian finally removed his phone from his back pocket and glanced at the lock screen. </span>
  <em>
    <span>11</span>
  </em>
  <span> missed calls. </span>
  <em>
    <span>24 </span>
  </em>
  <span>unread messages. He unlocked the device as he made his way down the sidewalk. His screen suddenly went black before a photo of Eugene, Rapunzel, and himself popped up onto it. Eugene was calling.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian glanced at the scene before answering the phone. He held it to his ear, startled as Eugene’s voice quickly rang out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are you?” he questioned. The teen looked around for a street sign, or some way to recognize his location. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have no idea,” he started, “I’m near a car crash. I think they hit a tree?” his eyes widened as he gave the explanation. “Oh god--Rapunzel. Eugene, it’s Rapunzel’s car!” He recognized the sun decal printed on the side of the dark blue vehicle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, hey. Calm down. I think I see you, just stay where you are,” Eugene ordered before hanging up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian tore his eyes away from the wreck to stare down at his shoes. He curled his arms around himself and dug his nails into his skin. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This was his own fault</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he told himself, snapping his eyes shut. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He drew in a shaky breath to try and take control of his breathing. There was a pressure in his throat, almost as if his esophagus was being crushed by an unseen force. Breathing became increasingly difficult for him as panic overwhelmed his senses. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rapunzel could be hurt, or worse--she could be dead. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He felt a pair of hands latch onto his arms, snapping him out of his thoughts. His eyes flew upwards and met Eugene’s sympathetic gaze.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“E--Eugene,” Varian gasped out, struggling to catch his breath. He couldn’t breathe. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He felt like he was dying.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, kid. It’s okay, she’s okay,” he assured, taking a knee before him, “Rapunzel is A-okay. It’s just a little scratch.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian shook his head frantically, unable to clear his mind of the thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if Rapunzel had died because of him? He’d have killed another person.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sh--She could’ve died!” he exclaimed as his vision blurred with tears. They were quick to spill over and trailed down his cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just breathe, okay? Breathe with me,” Eugene began to count with a calm voice, small enough to be considered a whisper. Varian followed his instructions, ignoring the trembling of his legs as he counted with him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, now let’s exhale,” he instructed. Varian let out a shaky breath, not quite meeting the tempo Eugene had set. Regardless, the man was patient and gave him time to catch up. Once Varian’s breathing returned to normal, he focused his eyes on Eugene.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eugene climbed to his feet and turned towards the wreck. He offered Varian a hand--which the boy immediately latched onto--and led him towards the car. Beside the car stood Rapunzel. A gash jutted across her forehead, causing blood to seep down and obscure her features. She let out a sigh of relief the moment her eyes met Varian’s. Rapunzel snuck past the officer she had been speaking with to pull him in for a hug.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, Varian,” she cooed as she pulled away from him, “you’re okay!” She ran her hands over his shoulder and down his arms before trailing them back up to his face. Rapunzel cupped his cheeks in her hands before pressing a kiss to his forehead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian’s eyes settled on the gash on her forehead as she pulled away, a frown plastered on his face. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be sorry about. People fight all the time. You lost someone very important to you and no one is expecting you to just suddenly be okay. This--” she gestured behind herself, and towards the car, “is not your fault.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just miss him so much,” he admitted, looking up at his friend with sad eyes. “I just want things to be normal again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Us too, but I need you to know that until you find your way, Eugene and I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> give up on you. We knew what we were getting into when we decided to let you stay with us.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She let her hands fall back to his shoulders and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Eugene made his way towards the pair with his attention turned towards Varian, and for the first time, he felt like he belonged in the group. He felt welcome.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So... you think you can give therapy a shot, kid?” Eugene asked while he wrapped an arm around Rapunzel. She seemed to relax at the action. “We think it’ll help you learn to work through all of these feelings you're facing. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We just want you to be happy,” Rapunzel added. She gently tugged the boy towards her, hugging him close.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian hesitated, glancing up at the pair from where he was tucked against Rapunzel.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“O-Okay. I can give it a try,” Varian concluded. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. The fact that Rapunzel had gotten hurt because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> actions. He had to make an attempt to open up, for her sake.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Three days had passed since the crash and Varian’s mental state had yet to improve. Rapunzel had sorted out the incident with the police before the trio made their way to the hospital. There she received three stitches, but aside from that, only suffered a few bruises. Lack of severity aside, Varian still felt guilt eating away at him from the inside. If he hadn’t run away that day, then Rapunzel never would’ve received those injuries in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He later found out that Adira had been there to discuss Varian spending the occasional weekend at the farm, the one his father was raised on alongside Hector and her. He had only visited a few times before, back when he was young, but he didn’t think he could spend any time there in his current state without falling apart. Adira left him with her phone number before bidding them goodbye and disappearing out the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was only one situation that Varian had yet to resolve: his promise to attend therapy. He felt like a fool for agreeing to it. Whenever he found himself in a predicament, Varian would turn to his father for guidance, not some stranger. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sat up as an idea struck him. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>contact his father. Varian turned on his phone and quickly opened up his messaging app. He scrolled through his previous messages. They had never texted much, as most of their conversations happened over dinner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Varian: Are you picking me up today?</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Quirin: Yes. Be there in 10.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian smiled down at the texts, there was almost no sentimental value behind the words, but they meant </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> much to him now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Quirin: We need to talk when you get home.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He cringed, remembering back to the day he had received the text. His father had found out that he was experimenting with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Potassium Cyanide </span>
  </em>
  <span>when rummaging through his workbench. He hadn’t been impressed, but it had been grounds for a conversation. Varian gave a flick of his wrist, only stopping the screen’s movement when the chat revealed his most recent conversation. It had taken place a few days before his father’s death.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Varian: I have great news :))</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Quirin: Should I be concerned?</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Varian: Nope! Yours truly is graduating with honours!</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Quirin: I am so proud of you son.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Varian: Fr?</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Quirin: I have no idea what that means.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Varian: Right. I love you dad.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Quirin: I love you too, son.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian froze as he read over the text, his breath catching in his throat. He shut off the device and clutched it in his hand as he climbed out of bed. Varian hurried over to his closet and dug through his cocoon of blankets until he found his old duffle bag. He pulled out a sweater, laid it upon the floor, and unfolded it. Tucked into the fabric was a photo, </span>
  <em>
    <span>the</span>
  </em>
  <span> photo. The one of his father, mother, and him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>His dad was proud of him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He wouldn’t be anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian let out a quiet sob as he pulled the photograph towards him. He hugged it against his chest and curled in on himself. He’d lost his mother, his father, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> almost gotten Rapunzel seriously injured while acting out of sorrow. Shame washed over him as he held the photo close. He had hidden it away, unable to face the truth he had locked even his own parents out. It was the only image he had of the three of them together. He should’ve been cherishing it instead of turning it away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian forced himself to his feet, carrying the photo with him as he moved back to his bed. He took a seat on the edge of the mattress and placed the picture on his nightstand. He ran a hand over his face, fighting away his stress as he stared at the photo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What was he supposed to say to a shrink?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He pondered, flopping over onto his pillow. He didn’t understand how to talk to a stranger. He’d always been told </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> to talk to strangers as a kid. Why couldn’t that stay the same as he progressed into adulthood?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>An idea struck him, a stupid one at that. It would only be a reminder that his dad wasn’t here anymore, that he couldn’t receive advice from him ever again, but it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Varian made quick work of unlocking his phone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian tapped his fingers against the keyboard, debating on what to write. It was a relief to think that despite the lack of a response he would get, he would finally have someone to talk to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wished his father could reply and reassure him that everything was going to be okay, but his plan would only be a reminder of how alone he was. Even with Rapunzel and Eugene there, times like these made him feel so alone. Varian shook his head, training his attention back to the task at hand. He decided to keep it simple, it would be odd for him to write out some extravagant message to his father, too unlike them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Varian: Hi</b>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hit send and the pressure that had been building in his chest loosened. It wasn’t until he noticed the bubble with three bobbing circles within it that he realized what he’d done.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had sent the message to someone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Someone had his father’s old number. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>‘Quirin’: Hello?</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Varian rolled onto his back. As much as he had wanted to receive a response from his father, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this is not what he wanted. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He prayed the person would become disinterested at his lack of response, that they would give up and brush it off as a fluke.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The vibration against his hand notified him of an incoming message. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
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